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"Who'd like to start?" ."I would" said the

  • "Who'd like to start?" ."I would" said the the young man next to me. As he stood, light from the open window stuck him and he began to sparkle. "Hi, I'm Edward, and I'm a Lame

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  • -pire." "Hi, Edward!" "But lately, I've been thinking of ways to alienate my creepy fangirls by playing irritants in rubbery costumes." "On the road to healing already, Eddie."

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  • Man, being Eddie Murphy has it's down sides.

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  • I mean, being a rich and famous actor isn't all it's cut out to be. This stuff is hard work. You can't just walk on to a stage and say "Hello, I'm Eddie Murphy!" No-one will accept

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  • His missing out on cellophane's 30th birthday party. He came dressed as a roll of tape. The Scotch folks were testing cellophane for diagnosing pinworms that same evening. The cake

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  • had been spiked with all kinds of wonderful brilliant things and such and he somehow ate it all before they had a chance to bring it out. Right now, he thought he was in line at a

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  • Broadway show, but really he was in a lineup at the police station. "I saw the movie with Julie Andrews as Mary when it first came out," he gushed obliviously to the suspect beside

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  • him and the other transvestites in the lineup. “The hills are alive with the--,” Detective Manatee cut him to the quick. “Okay, Mr. Lonely Goatherd, move to the end of the line!”

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  • Detective Manatee was getting to the end of his tether. "Right, next, you. Prince. You were on the bridge when the incident occurred?" The prince nodded. "Oh yes. Oh god. I heard

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  • Screaming, houses ablaze, then a strange squelching sound." "Right, that's enough out of you." The detective bellowed, unzipping his skin and unleashing the first of his tentacles.

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7 Comments

  1. jayursus Mar 13 2020 @ 06:08

    I think this begs to be continued :)

  2. LordVacuity Mar 13 2020 @ 13:57

    I already made it into an audio file. Post that somewhere in a bit. Was thinking of making a video for it.

  3. Woab Mar 14 2020 @ 15:28

    OH MY GOD!!!!!! LV, you have really gone above and beyond yourself this time.

  4. SlimWhitman Apr 12 2020 @ 11:35

    What a dysfunctional group, and Detective Manatee surprised me with his seeming normality.

  5. LordVacuity Apr 12 2020 @ 12:19

    Yeah, I GoT-ed myself and didn't have a budget to use CGI to do Manatee properly.

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