"You slammed your door on his foot!" "Yes, which proves he was an intruder. I couldn't have crushed it if it wasn't inside my house." "He was selling Girl Scout Cookies." "I don't hi hive five five five kept recurring on his way home. Five robodog enforcers on one of the pedwalks over Harmony Plaza. Five drones over the afternoon crowd. Five street vendors offering free samples. The five dog turds he stepped in trying to avoid jostling five nuns. Then it clicked with him. The whole world was a clockwork. [call] The Erisian Principle be with you. [response] Venetian Banana Slugs! He wiped the discordian dog-doo off his shoes with a wimple that one of the five nuns had dropped as she leapt out of his way. His accordian had been badly straightened out in a bad fall, and it no longer accorded accordingly. All the folds had come undone, along with his music career.



2 Ped_Xing's photo

This story is an example of the Erisian Principle.

3 Woab's photo

Venetian Banana Slugs

4 Ped_Xing's photo

Venetian bananas are named after the Venetian brothers. They developed the banana strain with a mongoose from two mothers and called it a day. Come to find out that name was already taken by a measurement of the bright circle in a vanilla sky. So they named it after themselves, Vincent bananas and Marion bananas. When they found themselves at each other’s throat over the banana preference of the ladies of the town, something had to give. What gave was both their hearts. The plantation and all their properties were inherited by a distant relative. A dowager princess or such that had little concern left to spare them. She dumped them off on as a wedding gift to a grand nephew. A viscount shy a couple of months of his majority and a notorious spendthrift. He was advised he now owned a banana plantation. “What by Jove’s taint is a banana?” It was explained to him about the Venetian brothers and that settled that. Eventually the viscount forgot about it until he was desperate for money to pay off a moneylender. He cabled his factor in Kingstown to “sell the Venetian banana plantations.” The legal process that followed kept quoting him about the Venetian banana. That they were actually Vincent or Marion bananas was never mentioned. Ever after they were known as Venetian bananas.

A Venetian banana slug is a species of slug that lives its whole life cycle symbiotically with the Venetian banana.

At least, that is what I heard in a while in the ground.

5 Ped_Xing's photo

Stupid autocorrect.

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