This world's remaining strange mysteries exist among the nooks and crannies of civilization. My remaining strange mysteries also reside in my nooks and crannies. I'd pay someone to search for them, but the bible tells me such things are sins and should only be done by licensed proctologists sanctified with the blood of a chicken. I couldn't find one in the Yellow Pages, so I searched Google and there were 2,369,073 results. Of course 2,369,072 of them were porn sites, but I clicked through each one until I found the good doctor. When she showed up covered in blood, I knew she was the lead in the summer stock theatrical version of "Carrie." The production was headed by Lenny Summers, who was Marc Summer's illegitimate son. He had sired him after his unfortunate pairing with Bridget Smith at the neighborhood's Festivus key party. Between the airing of grievances and the moans of tangled, naked strangers, the Smith house was a cacophony of perfervidity. However, the Jones house was as quiet as penguins bumping donuts in a cloister. Like penguins, the Jones clan kept its cool. Sharp-beaked nuns of propriety, each blessed Jones, teething or toothless, froze out the fervor outside their door. Thus, their demise during the blizzard of '97 was unexpected, unwarranted, unending. Entire lines of Jones' froze, like tuxedo Popsicles. By the time the last Jones had perished, another had birthed from a birthing pod. And then another. And another. Which goes to show that nothing, not even blizzard winds, can keep up with the Joneses.

 

Comments

1 noah's photo

I am a HUGE fan of this ending. Perfect setup, and OldestLiving with the grand slam ending. Nice work folks. Festivus key party?! Bumping donuts!? Love it.

2 Euphorium's photo

I’m with you, noah… very strange & funny piece.  Too bad we didn’t have YOU in the fold this time.  Peace… dp

3 NixonBlack's photo

I think this is a great example of how this site goes really right.  I’m a total addict now.

4 kyerinn's photo

I’m with you, NixonBlack. Maybe we WILL have that FoldingStory con in a year or so! ;)

The internet appears to have eaten my last comment, sadly. To repeat - this is my favorite story to date, I love it! Great sharing with you all.

“penguins bumping donuts in a cloister” is my quote of the day…

5 RhettOracle's photo

You folks rock.  This is so much fun.  As for the “penguins bumping donuts,”  that was at least two vodka crans into a flight over the holidays.  I advise to be very careful when drinking and folding.  ;)

6 kyerinn's photo

Or perhaps you’ll strike brilliance!

7 49erFaithful's photo

Dang people! Taking it up a notch or two.  Good stuff.

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