An astronaut, a cosmonaut, & a taikonaut

An astronaut, a cosmonaut, & a taikonaut are sitting in a capsule orbiting Earth. The astronaut says,"We're passing over the USA. Land of the free. Home of the brave." 10 min later

they discover an oxygen leak in the compression chamber. The taikonaut and the cosmonaut panic and pass out from fear. The astronaut says "See, I told you so!" He grabs a wrench

and smacks the cosmonaut on the head. The astronaught laughs as pearls of blood float in the zero-gravity capsule. He punches a new destination for their pod. The taikonaut's eyes

bulged out of his head almost as much as if he was out in the vacuum. "Seiko 9?!" the taikonaut exclaimed. "Even you wouldn't be so foolish!" The astronaught smirked bloodily.

He had a secret weapon: the Talkonauts, an evil result of a government program designed to cause aneurysms with gossip. The astronaut unchained the mouth restraints. "Hey, taiko

-talkos...GO! Do your thing!" and he unleashed them into the universe. The Talkonauts blabbed incessantly about who was cheating on who, how fat so-and-so looked, & gossiped about

which celebrities were banging other celebrities. The Talkonauts favorite food was tacos, favorite invention: the walkie-talkie, favorite movie: The Talk of the Town. Silence

Was discouraged, so passers by used their ipods to stay sane and avoid conversation. The Talkonauts were banned from movie theatres and the library, so customers could concentrate.

Crime and suicide rates rose among the Talkonauts. Asking for help was pointless. "Talkonaut scum" were the whispers behind them. Many wanted to leave.

But the Talkonauts would not be swayed, their attempts to rise above the subject of, ironically, much discussion in the generations to come. Generations of dead Talkonauts. Shame.