While normally it is difficult for me to begin writing, today was different. As I approached my keyboard hoping for a new subject, I became aware of a presence all around me. The lights flickered and then rose to a blinding glow, buzzing ever louder as I put my fingers to the keys. I could see echoes or spirits of the greatest writers, channeling into A pastiche of bad haircuts, overflowing ashtrays, and empty gin bottles interspersed with suicidal faces. I was one with the word processor. 2500 words. Then 5000. And the capper is the words didn't make any sense! I mixed another Stolis. I took a big-foot drag on the cigar. This eulogy will send those old bastards at the American Legion rushing to their dictionaries. I vowed not to use any words of fewer than three syllables. William F. Buckley would be proud of me if he were still alive. I returned to writing with the hopes that this work would be the next, "all the presidents men." If only I had my own deep throat. Whispering secrets, exposing the truth. Instead I have had no idea how to finish my term paper on "urination: the other side of asparagus". I decided to go out back and shoot some hoops instead. There, i found a disgruntled green grocer who was peeing on a large bunch of asparagus. I asked him why he was doing that. He explained "because my urine smells of asparagus." This insprired he to return to my writing but when i got there I found my protagonist was gone. Now what? how do you write a story with out a protagonist? I could hire an armature-tagonist, one without urinary imaginings. Yes, this was flush with possibilities. I sat down at my PC and furiously typed away. Oh, this was my best work yet! Rich and complex, twisting, turning, until it came to: The End.

 

Comments

1 RhettOracle's photo

Unbelievably, the writer motif made it through the end!

2 noah's photo

Yes this is one of the first FoldingStories to organically keep a theme going from beginning to end. Impressive…

3 ChucksterAce's photo

My GOD maybe we should publish it!

4 SlimWhitman's photo

Consider it published - at Foldingstory ;-)

5 49erFaithful's photo

Solid backslaps and cigars all around! Harumph! Harumph!

6 ben's photo

Yes, well done indeed!

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