The day the orbs came out of the woods, Benjamin was startled but not surprised. He had heard rumors and intimations for decades, despite the commercial clutter that afflicted his cortical amplifier. He was mesmerized by the soft whiijjj of the orbs, but somehow disappointed. They floated, yes, but they were just big, blank pieces of dirty, rusty metal. Not the subtly shimmering singing orbs of his imagination... of his plans and dreams. He batted the orbs away and they smashed into each until they didn't even go whiijjj any more than an inert block of cement. The orbs gathered despondently beneath the sofa. Now free of his annoying hopes, dreams and other mental creations, he felt unable to plan & execute his diabolical plan to replace the World's flan with Judge Judy Judy Judy. He forgot the orbs under the sofa. He forgot what a sofa was. He forgot to finish this bowl of cereal. Meanwhile, the orbs under the sofa began to glow and got so hot that the sofa caught fire and Judge Judy Judy Judy had to smother it with flan. His living room was burned to a crisp. Judge Judy Judy Judy would never be able to sell his house now. He'd have to find someone to fix his living room, and that would most likely cost more than The damages caused by the Burning Man attendee who walked into the firepit and didn't come out alive. Judge Judy Judy Judy was sued by his parents for the expenses of the funeral. Judge Judy Judy Judy, being a Judge, passed judgement. "Who could ask for a grander funeral pyre than a burning man? Not guilty on all counts!" she ruled. The Judge was no Drudge. She, Judge JudyJudyJudy, was, as a matter of fact, a sensitive soul who, at the end of the day, yearned for a nice cup of tea&her slippers&her man, Punch. It was finally over.

 

Comments

1 PurpleProf's photo

Weird story, but sort of mesmerizing…

2 Futique's photo

I started channeling the Professor channeling Cary Grant: “Judy Judy Judy”. Some will remember.

3 SlimWhitman's photo

Sorry, I got the gender wrong on the Judge. I guess Judy Judy Judy (4x even says PP) just beat me into submission. Anyone know a male Judy?

I hereby coin the term :
Judyjudyjudycation
Incorrectly assuming the bearer of a repeated name which is usually female to have the female gender.

4 lucielucie's photo

“Whiijjj” ☺

5 Futique's photo

No problem Slim. Up until you have her make her judgement her gender is never specified. So she could have been a woman all along. Every other time she is mentioned up to that point it is possible to read her as being a separate person than the “he” of the story. It is clear when I introduce her that she is separate. Then in Woab’s fold she puts out a fire in his living room but it wasn’t necessarily her living room. In Firebolt’s fold she was acting as his realtor. Then in Dhanithecat’s fold as his realtor and agent Judy Judy Judy was on the hook so was on the receiving end of the lawsuit. Of course, in your fold, as the defendant, she should have recused herself from the case but the legal framework in FoldingStory is a bit more fluid that “real” life.

6 Futique's photo

So it is possible to read it as Benjamin surviving all the way to the eighth fold at which point the story changes focus to his friend(?)/realtor/lawyer Judge Judy Judy Judy.

7 Futique's photo

Oh wait, make that the 7th fold, as the “he” of the 8th would not be Benjamin but the guy who ran into Burning Man.

8 Futique's photo

I guess Benjamin is kind of in the 8th as the costs being discussed in it are a continuation of his expenses from his living room’s fire damage.

9 Futique's photo

Also, I am pretty sure, I started another FoldingStory about those orbs right after I added my Fold but I can not recall which one.

10 SlimWhitman's photo

You’ve squared things away on this story, and I did think Judge Judy Judy Judy was not above ruling in her favor at a trial where she herself is the defendant. Now I am only left wondering if the orbs in the other story you started go whiijjj.

11 Futique's photo

If they did go whiijjj it wasn’t because of me.

Also, I think the 3 ‘j’s in whiijjj were a foretelling of Judy Judy Judy.

12 Futique's photo

Doh! PurpleProf’s Punch & Judy allusion completely flew below my radar. So low, in fact, that you could smack it down with a bat.

13 PurpleProf's photo

I’m old, Futique. Many of my references fly under the radar for you young ‘uns here on FS. :)

14 Futique's photo

Well, I did channel a 60s episode of Gilligan’s Island, so I don’t think your being old quite explains away my having missed a Punch & Judy reference.

15 SlimWhitman's photo

Yeah, I’ve channeled some old things too. I just missed it outright, give me a whack, PP.

16 Futique's photo

Doh! Even worse, I just watched the clip and the Professor is doing the Judy Judy Judy bit but of course he doesn’t say Judy: he says Maryanne Maryanne Maryanne.

https://youtu.be/gNgOxi_MUY8?t=1m13s

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