Once upon a time a guy bought a christmas

Once upon a time a guy bought a christmas tree at food lion and set it up in hell for satan and the demons to see. His brother bought tickets to Trans-Siberian Orchestra and while

he waited for the performance to begin, he enjoyed a box of Milk Duds and made small talk with the two mature ladies next to him. The talk ranged from sciatica to

the good old days of hot flashes. He popped as many milk duds as possible, each one triggering endorphins which were like tiny mea culpas from God. The old ladies started holding

quilting bees in a night club. At first the management tried to push them out. However, it turned into a hit. The old women not only could sew a mean stitch, they drank straight

men's blood with relish - sweet pickle relish they canned themselves. The old women were resourceful as they could

boiled and cleaned the cucumbers preparing them. The women loved canning day. The men rarely bothered them as they were responsible for picking. The women brought out the vodka

and everyone's mood became lively and sinister. What new schemes would they pull over on the men today? The women put their creative senses together during these times and

came up with shop therapy. Then, the women gave up and

decided that there weren't any good men. That's when Dr. Obsel introduced the bioengineered perfect gentleman. No flatulence, no beer drinking, no back-talk,

just a vibrator where the typical man parts were, and a corkscrew for a left hand. Model 2.0 came with adjustable heating control and a free copy of You've Got Mail.