Give me garlic bread. I like garlic bread. "Bismellah! NO! We will not give you bread!" "Give me bread!" "Bismellah! We will not give you bread!" "Give me bread" Will not give you bread! "Give me bread-ohh-ohh-ohh" "No no no no no no no" "Oh semolina semolina" "semolina pizza dough. Spin 'round the dough, make it into pizza pie for me, for me, for me" "So you think you can bake me and make me a pie? Do you think quiche & pastries can be made unleavened with rye? Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby! Just gave me a bad case of gout, and it hurts right about here! Nothing really matters anymore, as long as you and I can get out of here, find a place with no one else around. I'll bake for you every day if you like, and you can make that noodle cassarole we -rewolves like to eat on Meatless Fridays. I will gaze into your bloodshot eyes and you can nibble on my tufted ears, being careful not to puncture them with your fangs. Together we will rule the night!" "Yes," came the response. "Let us change and forget ourselves. Let us howl at the moon, fly, drink the blood of innocents--" "Wait, what?" "Dude, it was in the brochure I sent you. Remember?" "No dude, I definitely don't remember "drinking the blood of the innocent". You know that I am Innocence Intolerant!" This was Just the beginning of a new era in folding stories. Tony Soprano implored the minions to quit squabbling and finish this lind. Just a second remained. Tony said he would finish it. The minions encouraged him along until their bad luck with bosses caught up to them and a large pterodactyl with a grudge swooped down and ate Toni. Oh well on to the next boss.

 

Comments

1 Rebbie's photo

Wow I guess it was the end of him. Love the beginning of the story. I wish it had kept going because, that was awesome. All in all lots of fun though!

2 Woab's photo

Oh yes. Gibber’s and Slim’s folds were particularly brilliant.

3 Gibber's photo

I was at a loss with pasta until I put “semolina” into Yahoo Search and its auto-complete gave me “pizza dough.”

4 Rebbie's photo

Nice use of the old noodle Gibber!

5 KieferSkunk's photo

Glad to have gotten that one started. :)

6 Rebbie's photo

Yes way cool twist on the story KieferSkunk.

7 SlimWhitman's photo

Yes, great idea. It was really fun to encounter Gibber’s fold and read it out loud, but it was a pressure cooker levening up to it!

8 Rebbie's photo

Yes I’m sure but, you rose to the occasion and baked in some sweet folding goodness.

9 LunaSta's photo

Wow, what an amazing story all, cheers for the finished garlic bread story!

10 LunaSta's photo

Wait a minute…

Is Tony Soprano still alive? The Pterodactyl got a guy called Toni :0

B) perhaps a new sequel about garlic bread can continue… any ideas? :B

12 LunaSta's photo

You have no idea how happy I am to see a sequel. Thank you \( °□°)/  ☆°°

13 KieferSkunk's photo

@Gibber - Your fold inspired me:

Bohemian Bakery (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody, by Queen)
—-

Is this a real loaf?
Is it a recipe?
Caught with a dull knife,
no escape from this bakery…

Open the store,
look in through our doors and see!
I’m just a dough boy,
I need no sympathy

Because I’m easy come, easy go,
little pie, little dough
Any way it crumbles,
It’s all cookie batter to me, to me.

Mama, just burned my hand,
Set my oven up too high, put my sheet in, now it’s fried,
Mama, I had just begun,
but now I’ve gone and thrown it all away.

Mama, ooooo…
Didn’t mean to bake with rye,
If I’m not back again in several hours,
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really happened…

Too late, my hand is done.
Don’t know how we’ll feed the crowds, gotta figure something out.
Hello, everybody, we need more time,
But now I gotta pray it all comes through.

Mama, ooooo…
I don’t wanna close!
I sometimes wish I’d never been hired at all!

I see a little boy, peeking in the door
Chocolate mousse! Chocolate mousse! Will you give me a doughnut?
Crumpet full of frosting, really really costing me!

Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo
Galileo Galileo Figaro
Magnifico

I’m just a dough boy, nobody likes me
He’s just a dough boy, in this poor bakery
Spare him his job from a life on the street!

Easy come, easy go, will you make my dough?
Bismellah! NO! We will not make your dough!
Make my dough!
Bismellah! We will not make your dough!
Make my dough!
Bismellah! We will not make your dough!
Make my dough!
Will not knead your dough!
Make my dough!
Will not bake your dough!
Make my dough-oh-oh-oh…
No no no no no no no!

Oh semolina, semolina
Semolina pizza dough!
Spin ‘round the dough, bake it into pizza pie for me, for me, for me!

So you think you make pastries and muffins with rye?
So you think you can burn them and eat up my pies?
Ohhh, baby, can’t do this to me baby.
Just kick you out, just kick you right out of here!

Ooo yeah, ooo yeah…

Now the place is shuttered,
Anyone can see, but
all that really matters…
All this cookie batter’s for me!

Any way it crumbles…

14 SlimWhitman's photo

Wow, that was amazing KieferSkunk!
Even folded in the Semolina and Rye.
Now we just need a chorus & and a dough boy.
Maybe we could all combine forces.
Anyone like playing with garageband or similar?

15 Woab's photo

I agree, that is seriously wonderful, KieferSkunk. Wish I still ha d a band.

16 KieferSkunk's photo

I still don’t actually know what prompted me to break into Bohemian Rhapsody in response to LunaSta’s opening fold, but that’s my random nature going there. ;)  But Gibber’s and Slim’s follow-ups had me ROLLING, and I had to write a full filk for that. :)

It’s my wife’s birthday today, and we’re going to have a couple friends over to do karaoke tonight.  I plan to surprise them with this parody. ;)

17 SlimWhitman's photo

May you rise to the occasion!
Let us know how it goes!

18 KieferSkunk's photo

Everyone liked it!  My wife thinks I should fine-tune the lyrics just a bit more and then post them somewhere (no idea where at the moment).  She thinks they’d go viral. :)

19 Futique's photo

Ok, I saw the garageband comment the other day but just now remember that I do have it on my phone so I will mess around with that and who knows.

20 Gibber's photo

Excellent, KieferSkunk!

21 LunaSta's photo

Lovely piece! But if anyone has some fruit loops software you can make a pretty wild beat to go with that!

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