I have no strength to keep my eyelids open and no willpower to stop it happening all over again. The dragonflies are here again and they're no longer blue.

Nia had something of a raw talent for waxing, though she lacked her sisters' polish. When the twilight of hirsutism threatened the family business, Nia quickly uprooted it with hot

Fiddle faddle fuddle mud pie. If a puddle can muddle then why can't I?

"I'm so 'the life of the party' that my own cats think I'm inanimate." I started this dating profile as a joke; now it was just sad. I needed someone with a compatible joke profile

The dinner was simply exquisite - dormouse poppers with fish sauce, followed by the main course - sparrow-tongue stuffed sow uterus swimming in aspic; for desert, jellied eel and

From the opposite side of the estuary, they observed the smoking remains of Hartlepool. He heard Sylvia sniff wetly beside him. 'Damned sentiment', he thought to himself, 'too late

In celebration of the birth of the newest member of the royal family, I decided to send William & Kate a baby gift! I settled on something I thought no one else would think of...a

Leonard live a lemon lie. He dressed in a lemon suit, wore lemon loafers, ate lemon pie and drank lemon beer. Slept in a lemon bed, with lemon girls. He even pissed lemonade, BUT

I just tried to type Wanda & it's been ipad autocorrected to Wandanventham. Is Apple trying to mess with my head?

My coworkers dont like me playing the nannerpus commercial on youtube. I dont see the issue, I mean, it's NANNERPUS! It's a dancing banana on a bunch of pancakes, whats not 2 love?

"I see your point and raise you a counterpoint: you are a massive doo-doo head." Debate Club had gone to the dogs. I quietly padded my résumé in the corner, sipping a soda.

They say we miss 100% of the shots we don't take, but thanks to vacuous truth, we also make 100% of such shots. I pondered this on the bench, warm as always, taking pudding shots

Vito the Sausage Baron, Bobby Bugeyes, "Fingers" & Danny "the Duke" were in a small prison cell orbiting the moon arguing about who'd blocked the waste collection system when

"Am I prolix?" asked the small shrimpy animancule swimming in the gloop. "Perhaps 'less is more' should be my mantra from now on." Smiling ever so slightly it flicked its pinkish

"Someday, Tomas, we will go over those mountains. What do you think is on the other side?" Tomas shook his head. "I don't know, Matthias. Green hills? Clear, fresh water?"

Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer too

Our village's peace was shattered one pleasant autumn day when Lady Constance and Reverend Parkins nearly came to blows over the topic of green tea. The repercussions of that dis

In 1963 a dutch company called Philips developed the cassette tape. It turns out that on these early tapes they recorded their startling company manifesto on an extra track. The

I turned on the computer, worried that it would take too long and worried that I would mess up. What would happen? I worried, What would happen if I didnt make it in time? Or if I

One spring evening as I was planting flowers I hit something as I dug deep in the ground. A genie bottle appeared! I decided to give the bottle a rub, and POOF…..