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It was dark and cramped in there. The girl

  • It was dark and cramped in there. The girl faces were hidden behind thick layers of cheap slutty make-up and dirty smears of semen. Enforcing their lack of privacy, I

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  • decided to make the most of the attention given by the prison guards by singing show tunes. Gilbert & Sulivan or a bit of HMS Pinafore. Tra la la la la. I also perform a lovely dan

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  • -ish interpretive dance of HMS Pinafore a man shouted from the audience. A plaintiff wail. Then I heard sobbing. We all turned and looked. Standing in a puddle of tears was

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  • a man. He wasn't Prussian or Greek or Peruvian or a Dane. He wasn't Russian or French or Malawian or from Spain. He was an Englishman! He was aaan Eeenglishmaaaaaaaaaan!

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  • He wasn't an Englishman in Mombasa or Kinshasa. He wasn't in Hindustan or Kyrgyzstan, he wasn't in Timbuktu or Kalamazoo, he wasn't in Cork, he was in New Yooooooooooooooooooooork!

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  • - howled Wile E. Coyote, relieved to have finally caught up with that ever-elusive Roadrunner. All he had to do was devise a wildly elaborate, foolproof plan to get his paws on

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  • her...him... Say, what sex is the Roadrunner anyway, Wile E. Coyote momentarily wondered, right before he quickly donned his Acme Extend-o-Arms to grab the Roadrunner. Beep Beep!

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  • Once Wile E. had the Roadrunner in his Acme Extend-o-Arms, he gave it a big, bear hug and said: "Oh, how I love to snuggle with my cute little birdy!". The Roadrunner was shocked

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  • by the display of affection from his assumed nemesis. However, the bear hug proved too tight as the Roadrunner was unable to breathe. Squirming to break free from Wile E, he began

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  • turning blue. The roadrunner finally went limp. Little did he know, this was Wile E's last and final attempt to catch him. After man years, he won. Now, he would feast, it was over

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