Raising your children peacefully is a threat

my undergarments. Are you listening to me when I speak to you?" I had raised one child as a pious Buddhist hippie, the other as a creepy young poli sci major. Then they do battle!

Said, Mitt Romney. He raised his hands and said, "I command thee armies of magic undergarments to

slay the 99% cotton from the jeans at JCPenney. We must save the 1% spandex!" A magic undergarment of lesser elasticity piped up, "Last week it was polyester. Now cotton is evil?"

But the enormous larva that would become Mothra dined on the jeans rack that night & crapped out indigestible spandex. She moved into aThinsulate™ sleeping bag for her pupal stage

Reading Kafka all night long. Her latest blog entry read

I should really be smoking less and exercising more this year

, which is why I walked to work that fateful day in February. In one hand, I held an e-cig, and over my shoulder was my cross-body satchel. I never expected

anyone to mistake me for a cross-dressing hooker- but that's what happened. Instead of reaching my office early, I ended up racing down the subway station steps with 6 men running

After me. I'm in pottery good shape, so I put some distance between my pursuers and I, my steps echoing in the nearly empty station. Hope I can keep this up.