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Brad finally had to tell his father the truth.

  • Brad finally had to tell his father the truth. But did he have the strength? Could he tell his head-bobbing, "thinking man's music" father that Steely Dan sucked the high hairy

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  • gobstoppers? Deacon Blues was in permanent rotation in his old man's "den"; a bedroom he converted in their three bedroom apartment just before his fourth son was born. Priorities!

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  • And too much HGTV ruined both his house and his marriage. His wife served him divorce papers by having them nail gunned to the big screen in his "man cave" in the former guest room

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  • downstairs. Unconsciously, he touched most prized possession, tucked safely into his overcoat: an autographed copy of Martha Stewart's first issue magazine.

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  • Baked Chicken 101. He marveled at Martha's expert knowledge, and had been inspired to try entertaining for himself. But to entertain you need

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  • a staff of thousands, if you want to keep up with Martha. His Baked Chicken 101 would do as an authentic attempt at being a domestic god(dess).

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  • But never taste his lasagna. He might bill it as a speciality, but it was anything but. His special ingredient of

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  • snail bone-marrow was extremely difficult to find, given the obvious fact that snails have no

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  • bone marrow... because they have no bones, naturally. It's a little known fact that they also have no souls, but snails DO have

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  • an alarming propensity to quote Shakespeare when you least expect. Lean in and listen when you're pruning the roses and you'll hear tiny voices shout "once more unto the breach.."

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