We had zombies before zombies were cool.

I kept my zombies looked in the cellar. It's hard to imagine now, but we used to be embarrassed by zombie infestation, & especially worried about their impact on the house value

. I am proud to say we have the most complete private zombie collection in the NYC limits. Zombies age well if you keep them properly stored. My prize zombie, a vintage 1999 mayor

from Wyoming. Notice the "omnomnomnomnomming" of his face. Over here, we have an elderly woman zombie. Tales say she claimed thirty-four hosts before finally pushing up daisies.

The elderly woman zombie hated the tour bus with it's fat insipid out-of-towners. They passed through and always shouted and pointed, photos. She could only sort of shuffle,

so she dropped her bag at the fat feet of one such tourist while others left the bus. As he bent forward to pick it up for her, she sunk her gnarly zombie teeth into his shoulder.

He screamed. The other fat tourists surrounded and attacked her. She struggled, broke free and ran. The tourists lethargically pursued. Being a single zombie wasn't working. She

Needed her husband's support, even if he was now losing his memory and drove the wrong direction. The zombies surrounded them, saying they were traitors. Many supporters wept over

how they had left the path set forth by Teresa, The Queen Zombie. They tried to remember how being a zombie had been like before Teresa. They couldn't of course, lacking long term

sharing of the hive mind. Still, a common drive moved them, one ragged step after the other, converging. The danger ahead was unknown to them, unknown to Teresa, and wil would