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It's amazing the things you do when you're

  • It's amazing the things you do when you're young. I found my old diary. When I was 8 years old my goal in life was to be a vet for unicorns and narwhals, and to marry Fred from

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  • Scooby Do where we would eat green eggs and ham at the rehearsal dinner. It wasn't until 10 years later when I came of age that I learned that men in neckerchiefs are usually gay.

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  • I tried to ask Freddie James Prinze, Jr. about wearing a neckerchief when he played Fred Jones, but he didn't hear me. Probably because we were at Monday Night RAW and security was

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  • very tight. Freddie prinze, Fred Jones and i knew we couldn't get in easily, so we enlisted the help of Freddy Kreuger and that annoying FRED from the internet. FRED deafened the

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  • fey Paul Reubens with a full-throttle rendition of the "Devil Went Down To Georgia." FRED grinned goofily. Fred Kreuger said, "FRED, that's was a nightmare." And Fred Jones said, "

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  • are you kidding me? We could have died out there tonight! I don't care how much you try and disguise this as some kind of quirky musical adventure! I'm out!". With that, Jones left

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  • . We remained sitting in the trolley, minds still befuddled by alcohol. "Ahaha!" We laughed and continue to sing. "And up, up to the blue mountain...uh, what rhymes with mountain?"

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  • Kowtow? Flauntin'? Other passengers & even the trolley conductor where in on it. "Accounting'?" he chimed in, forgetting the breaks. Then we crashed into Bacchus Fountain at the to

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  • p of the hill on 29th street, near where I'd first injected the junk and activated the Zybourne Clock. "Fuck", I breathed hard out from under my breath. I was running out of time,

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  • and soon the sun would be setting." The girl from the concert, her enormous breasts crammed into one of my promotional T-shirts, stood behind me - pleading with me to

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