I woke up next to a cute blonde who was completely

  • I woke up next to a cute blonde who was completely unclothed, my clothes scattered all over the floor. I tried remembering what I did last night but all I could think of was

  • how wrinkled my clothes were getting. Cute blondes come and go, but a concert T-shirt is a versatile wardrobe staple effective year-round. While she slept, I plugged in the iron

  • maiden in. My little girl was so terrified of the dark so I'd made her a night light. I put holes into an iron maiden with a shotgun and put a light bulb inside it. I watched her

  • admire my creation; watched my girl as she opened the hinged iron door and observed the bloody corpses within; watched her smile over the bodies of the people she had cared for

  • ; watched her pause above one in particular. She stood there for a moment. Then she sank all at once, as if her legs were sand. Her hair hid her face, but not her hoarse cry.

  • She was allergic! I fist grabbed her shirt to pull her from underneath. We had to find some way of getting home.

  • But there was no way home. I knew that even before she socked me in the jaw. No one trusted anyone, all spies and commerce, no safe place to lay one's head. Later she confided that

  • she might be able to trust me if I didn't complain so much about her breaking my jaw. I couldn't speak so I communicated with my expressive brown eyes how I felt. She told me she

  • wasn't sorry for having broken my jaw. I wibbled at her and then winced as it worsened my pain, but she'd already turned her attention away from me and was looking at the horizon

  • so I tried acting nonchalant by whistling and spat a bevy of bloody teeth .She laughed at this. I grinmaced.Then she took pity lending me her dentures & finally I smiled.



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