Putin was proud of the man cave he had put

vodka table-tennis, the Russian version of beer pong. It was harder with shot glasses. Putin's bunker also had a disco ball, shark tank, and complete wall mural of himself posing

different posers at a cocktail party held by a "friend" of Heidie Fleiss. He hadn't told anyone, but he was trying to break the guinness book of world records of pretension, which

is why he spent all day working on the seat belts in his car, if only he could adjust the pretensioner screw just another quarter turn, he would get into the Guinness book

for the worlds most perfectly torqued automobile seat belt. After hours of work, he put away his tools and with a feeling of accomplishment, went to bed. But in the middle of the

night, a thief broke in and hit his bed's eject button. Not wearing a seatbelt, he was flung through the roof and crashed into Big Ben. "Heh, I guess the clock struck midnight on

the nose!" the thief chuckled, looking up at his victim whose face was impaled by Big Ben's big hand. The thief left the poor guy just hanging there while he scooped up the crown j

ust below the VI and started to descend. Had he researched properly, he'd have realized what now, too late, became obvious - the crown had supported the VI, which was now toppling

He clutched the crown close to his chest and ran for his life. The earthen roof was collapsing around him. His fedora fell off, but he just left it. He lacked in diligence, but als

o integrity, bodily hygiene, friends, sex appeal, worldly experience, intelligence, charisma, luck, je ne sais qois..but at least he had a crown! That made the day worth it--right?