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She logs on to Folding Story for the first

  • She logs on to Folding Story for the first time in months, elated that some of her stories have been completed. "I must make more!" she exclaims, so she starts a story about a

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  • man with a penis which looked exactly like Adrien Brody's nose. In fact, the he posted pictures of his penis on Facebook, claiming he was Adrien Brody, and 300 people friended him

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  • in 9 months which, incidentally, was the time it took for his baby to arrive. "I shall name you Peter" He said, patting the baby on the head who resultantly burst into tears.

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  • . The baby was entirely sentient, and did not appreciate the humor. In fact, it never forgave it's namegiver, and plotted revenge. As an adult "Peter" named her children "

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  • Delerium", "Tremens" and "Trafalgar" simply because she could. Her husband, "Mister Cuddles", had been similarly nominally abused as a child, and together they embraced the absurd

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  • array of neon colored Care Bears. "Don't worry Mister Cuddles. Everything is going to be just fine."

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  • But everything was not fine. These were not Care Bears. They were Scare Bears and Mister Cuddles started touching me in ways I did not like. I quickly stuffed him in the toybox.

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  • I ran from the room screaming, "Beware the Scare Bears!" Later I dreamt that Mr Cuddles clawed out of the toybox with help from his best-fiends Hateful Heart and Bratty Thug Bear.

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  • Ah, Lysergic Acid Diethylamide...and this was one of my least eventful trips. I only hoped that this was the end, but with more than a dozen flashbacks this month alone, I doubted

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  • my existence at all. Maybe all of this was real life and my boring drone of a life was just a series of consecutive fantasies. So I took another, and another, and another...

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