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Depressed, the young adult sat in his chair,

  • Depressed, the young adult sat in his chair, his head on his desk, a cigarette in his mouth. He stared longingly at a paper desk toy, and though about

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  • what it would be like to live a life like Edgar Allan Poe's? The inventor of the mystery's death itself was an enigma. The desk toy's melancholy eyes stared hypnotizing Eddie

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  • and backing him into a corner of his office. "Lenore!" Eddie screamed. Somewhere in the distance, a raven spoke, "Nevermore." The desk toy moved by its own volition, inching closer

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  • to the staple gun. The desk toy spontaneously flew up into the air and right into Eddie's face. As Lenore laughed, Eddie lobbed the staple gun towards Lenore's forehead.

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  • Lenore ducked under the desk and spotted a magic paperclip on the floor. Eddie came over to see what all the fuss was about. Eddie suggested Lenore rub the paperclip

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  • against his pants and Lenore knew that Eddie was the Evil Sorcerer of the Break Room. Lenore held aloft the magic paperclip, sensed its glory and shouted "By the Power of Payroll,

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  • thou shalt not tax!" A blinding flurry of W-4s and 1099s arose from nowhere and smote him squarely in accounts payable, and with a shriek & a flash the evil sorcerer was banished,

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  • forever. And it was all thanks to Auditman! Tune in next week, as Auditman takes on the evil H&R Bloc. Same tax time, same tax channel!

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  • And that was the sign off for the IRS propaganda that polluted the minds of many impressionable youth. Had the government known the disastrous consequences of their brainwashing

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  • , they probably would have acted with graciousness & integrity. But they hadn't. Their television had not demoralized us. We came back fighting & vanquished the evil. At what cost?

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