Marta told the onion her secret wish. Baba

  • Marta told the onion her secret wish. Baba Grozna explained: "The layers represent spheres of influence, levels of understanding, and even revelations." But when they sliced

  • the onion and examined each ring, the center portion was rotten. Marta worried that this meant bad luck, but Baba Grozna said, "Don't worry, it only means that

  • you are a superficial young woman, whose soul has begun to rot away. The hope remains that with time and sacrifice, and lots of peanuts, a new blossom of

  • soul may be inserted back into your plasticized augmented surgery enhanced body. God loved the women of the OC, why else would the be rich? So Kaitlin got another soul so she could

  • afford computer classes. Actuaries calculated souls to be worth precisely $40, but Kaitlin shrewdly auctioned hers off to a crowd of rich, recovering pop stars. The winning bid was

  • made by, you guessed it,Jimmy Page. I'm sure your aware Jimmy made a deal with old Scratch to be able to play like that,so he was bidding on Mr. S's behalf. Kaitlin's soul belonged

  • to a shoehorn salesman in a Fifth street gin alley & she didn't even know who Jimmy Page was. Some boy who fancied her in school? Fictional Martian in a family sitcom? At any rate,

  • it was Anything Could Happen Thursday, which meant that it was possible that Jimmy Page would be selling gin shoes and telling jokes at her Martian school. She clapped her hands

  • to move on a day. It was Friday and she was in love!

  • She merrily set everything in her apartment in pink hat boxes with satin ribbons. By Saturday, She moved it all to his tin shack. By Sunday, looking at the swamp, she wondered.



  1. PurpleProf May 07 2013 @ 20:17

    Just out of curiousity, BlastedHeath, is Baba Grozna a real person? I called my Slovakian grandmother "Baba."

  2. BlastedHeath May 07 2013 @ 21:18

    I based it on Baba Yaga and my limited knowledge of Slavic stuff.

  3. BlastedHeath May 07 2013 @ 21:21

    Mme Blavatsky and Sam Raimi's "Drag Me to Hell" probably also had their influence. ;-)

  4. BlastedHeath May 07 2013 @ 21:38

    As for the use of an onion in fortunetelling -- as far as I know I made that up, but it seems like something that might occur.

  5. PurpleProf May 07 2013 @ 22:59

    Perhaps this is why we cry when we are cutting up onions...

  6. BlastedHeath May 09 2013 @ 21:29

    Apparently that was a popular meme even in the pre-meme days, but I have never cried when cutting up onions ...

  7. SlimWhitman May 10 2013 @ 03:08

    I cried while cutting a rutabaga yesterday.

  8. lucielucie May 10 2013 @ 07:32

    Cooking makes me sad too sometimes.

  9. PurpleProf May 10 2013 @ 08:30

    Look what I found! Baba Grozna could teach Marta (aka Kaitlin) how to tell fortunes with swamp onions. http://www.sierrawildflowers.org/allium_validum.htm

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