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So they ran Hamlet again at the school. Joey

  • So they ran Hamlet again at the school. Joey hated Hamlet. What a little weird turd Hamlet was. The English teacher said this was literature, but Joey knew it wasn't. When

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  • he heard 'to be or not to be' speech, Joey walked out. Hamlet was way too emo and whiny. Blah, blah, blah. Yorick? Yadda Yadda. Now Richard the Third, there was a rightous dude.

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  • But no one had ever heard of Richard the Forth. Yes, he misspelled it in the Royal Proclamation and faced ridicule. That had fueled his rage. Joey knew this and wanted the world

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  • to know about it so he ran a full page add in the International Herald Tribune making fun of Richard IV. Joey wrote "To His Majesty King Dick the FORTH WRITE sovereign of FOReign

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  • DICKtatorship." Joey's diatribe in the Herald Tribune made many "four" and "dick" jokes (and a couple ivy/intravenous ones), but little did he think Richard IV would take offense.

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  • Nixon, while president, added them to his enemy list. They were thus banished to Coventry and kneaded into bear mush for his breakfast. No wonder the tradition of enemy lists

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  • was drawn up overand over again until the monks of Coventry finally gate crashed the rave party at Nixon's estate and began to chant in a very odd

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  • language. It was a mix between German and Russian, with a hint of Irish in between. The party-goers all froze mid-rave, watching on in confusion as the monks chanted until their

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  • dance floor began to rise. With every chant from the Euro-Asian monks the floor moved closer to the ceiling of the hall. Ravers began crying, leaping, raising their arms in triumph

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  • -ant disco poses in a last-ditch effort to stop from being crushed. The monks stopped chanting at the last moment, sparing them, then left the hall silently, casting stern looks.

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