During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless

hell. The hooves of my horse grew weary and my eyes did not rest easy on the infernal horizon, spitting fire and brimstone. I reached absentmindedly into my coat to paw at the empt

-y cantina. Sand poured out. My horse gasped and keeled over. The sun blistered everything in this desert. On the horizon I saw the four horsemen coming, they waved

scythes menacingly. I whipped out my phone for a quick Facebook update: Brilliant sunshine! About to meet up with some locals. Dying for a cold one! The four horsemen surrounded me

carrying shields and armed with feral cats. I quickly took a panoramic photo of the 4 horseman and tagged them on my Facebook. As I put my phone back into my pocket

, I stopped cold, just realizing the magnitude of what I'd done. By tagging the 4 Horsemen on Facebook, Famine, War, Conquest, and Death, I caused the Apocolypse to arrive. They

were whinnying outside my back door. "Hiya!" I said. "You ordered the Apocalypse, mortal human!" The horsemen stared with unearthly eyes. "Oh that! It was just... a bit of a booboo

The horseman looked at me. "No refunds. You ordered the end of all mankind, and everything that can die. SO DIE!!!" I stared at him. Now if only I had taken that rifle

from the wall and committed suicide when I had the chance. Now, the horseman of the apocalypse was about to wipe out all life because-- wait. "Yes," I said, "But at my hand alone."

The Horseman of the Apocalypse rolled his eyes. "I'm not summoning a plague of giant crab monsters," he protested, "That's just silly." "Well, you're no fun anymore!" So I left.