Effy was dressed in bay leaves again. He

blades through mild cheese. Mothers in general scared him. All that self righteousness and very little qualification he thought. He piled on more bay leaves but it didnt make him f

linch this time. He would control it. He was, after all, the master. The thoughts settled in his guts, and he grabbed the plate and started walking down the windy stairs. If only

he had seen the family cat on the last step. He tripped, spilling the froie gras and pinot noir over Lord Mayor Tundleburr's dinner jacket.

The mayor fumed and raged at the clumsy servant for getting his dinner jacket all messy. As punishment, the servant was forced to lick the stains out of the dinner jacket.

As he began doing so, the mayor noticed the servant seemed to be enjoying it. "Alright stop licking my jacket!" He yelled. "Get out of my sight before I

call the Korean restaurant and sell you to them!". On hearing this the mayor pulled out his revolver and aimed it at the servants head. "You touch that phone and you die". The

servant said, "Or IS IT?!?!" The mayor pulled the trigger. The gun squirted water. The Servant said, "Now the slipper wears the foot!" The servant pulled out a bone-handled sword

and decapitated me on the spot. "Well this certainly is a spot of bother" I thought to myself as my head tumbled to the floor, my neurons firing their last. That accursed Mayor had

the last laugh as my sight grew dim and I watched my headless body running around in circles. I should have listened to Rudyard Kipling: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/346219-if-y