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10 out of 10 brands of toilet paper,

  • 10 out of 10 brands of toilet paper,

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  • have spectacularly failed the two square test. Crappy results indeed. I realized I had to take matters into my own hands. For obvious reasons, I needed a brand of toilet paper that

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  • was four dimensional. What other way to cover a black hole? Regardless of the rift in space and time I was unwilling to surrender my fiber. I needed this and I needed it badly. Hel

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  • l would freeze over before I gave up my daily dose of fiber. In fact, I took the whole bottle of Metamucil just now. Down the hatch it goes... into the black hole of my stomach

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  • If my stomach is a black hole then my sphincter is a quasar. But when the sh*t hit the fan, I had no time to wax metaphysical. For every action there is a reaction, so when the jet

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  • pack was offered to me, my reaction was to take it, kick it into gear and blast off leaving the horrible scene behind me. Speed. Altitude. Piercing the cloud layer I could finally

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  • be free. But I wasn't alone. I flew into a cloud of painted lady butterflies migrating across the Sahara. My jet pack stuttered and failed! I fell, but then I was borne up again by

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  • Madame Butterfly and her partner, who were both monarchs. They hailed from Siberia, originally, where the New Silk Road replaced the old one for the tea trade. Genghis Khan was the

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  • first person to order a Pikachu t-shirt made from their silk, but unfortunately had to wait hundreds of years for its arrival in the mail. "Dear Mr. Khan," the letter read, "We are

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  • unable to fulfil your request because we do not carry the silk of imaginary creatures no matter their popularity." Khan knew, though, that the lawyers made them say that.

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1 Comments

  1. 49erFaithful Oct 14 2016 @ 08:32

    Roy.G.Biv: nice black hole double entendre. Four dimensional TP, indeed.

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