My tongue ripped off as I pulled my mouth

it. "In the game of frostbite, you win... or you lose all your extremities. There is no middle ground" my doctor used to say. What a quack. I turned back to my disembodied tongue &

ate it. I needed food to keep my energy up. The wreckage of the plane was already half-buried by the arctic storm.

In the distance I heard the yelps of huskies and presently a sleigh came by driven by Benedict Cumberbatch dressed as the White Witch. I fell to my knees & putting my head on his s

hoes. Oh lord, how great it felt. It was smooth, sleek and clean. I rubbed my cheek against his shoe, completely forgetting that he was looking down at me. I stared up towards him,

and saw the hole in the crotch of his pants. OMG! He was wearing lacy women's panties! Embarrassed, I returned to caressing his shoe. I had to think fast. I had to get out of this

position. My legs were falling asleep. I shifted my weight slightly, but a little too quickly. I toppled over sideways. He stood up and reached to help pull me up, showing off his

superior strength. "Get yourself together!" I repeated in my head, over and over again. I would not let him win this time, no matter how painful it would be. "You ok, solider?" he

shouted in my ear. "Yes, sir!" I said loud enough to blow down the barracks. "We are here and were are now and this is how!" But the Cosmos, I wanted to say to Sarge ... I looked i

n the hamper. Never look in an army barrack's laundry hamper. It was backed so full of brassieres, it was like a can of wacky humor snakes! KABLOOIE!