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there once was a grain that had no name he

  • there once was a grain that had no name he wanted it bad and got really sad for he was simple and covered in pimples

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  • so the "grain" stumbled around garages and pool halls looking for acceptance. He was ugly and pimply and pathetic. But one person took this lost loser under his wing, it was the

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  • best night of Grain's life. Captain Save a Ho made Grain his newest he-bitch in his extensive man stable. Grain took to man-whoring like a fish to water. It was fantastic. Grain's

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  • wholesome goodness belied his ability to separate the wheat from the chaff & display his endosperm. Grain was a bran muffin mangina. A bulgur he-tramp. Capt. Save a Ho, sent him

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  • a telegram, which is funny when you think about it, considering they were in the 24th Century and telegrams had been obsolete for at least 300 years. But he sent the telegram any

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  • where he could. Which was more places than you'd expect in the 2300s. One museum in the US still had a telegraph, but the US of Africa & southeast Asia were just getting them in.

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  • The year 2394 was one to remember. The banana republic no longer could afford the public debt and defaulted. It was devastatingly beautiful for the gnostics to witness and describe

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  • the slums throughout the nation. However, in the year 2399, the Gnostics and Pastafarianists began butting heads. Protests with signage like, "MY GOD IS BETTER LOOKING THAN YOURS"

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  • I would laugh at this, because it was true. Our God was much better looking, he was a God with a soul patch, and he had a cousin who was a lumbersexual. The idea of an modern god

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  • enraged all the grammar Nazis so by default, our God won. I mean who wants to mess with grammar Nazis? amiright? * The ideas are running out of my head faster than Usain Bolt*

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