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Nelly the elephant

  • Nelly the elephant

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  • is the nickname for a ginger wannabe model. Despite being photogenic Nelly is otherwise a bit of a lanky looking girl with unusually large

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  • man hands. Not ideal for modeling, but I'm not going to say no to a frisky red head due to over sized hands. Nelly said she was nervous, but the photos showed otherwise due to the

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  • really calm Adam's apple. If this husky plus-sized model came home with me tonight, I would be one up on my brother Horace because

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  • his models were only regular sized, so I beat him. We fell in love and Bruce, the plus-sized model moved in with me. We were so happy, but I started to have my suspicions when she

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  • garnered more mustard than I did. How could that be? It was I that ran a mustard empire. It was I that owned 333 Mustard Huts in 23 states. How could this be?

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  • The demand for mustard skyrocketed when the ketchup supply dwindled. Dogsup, created by John Cage, was marketed as a substitute for ketchup, and demand caught up finallgy, when the

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  • the stray dog population plummeted.Just kidding.Ofcourse John Cage being John Cage wouldn't actually have used Dogs in the Dogsup.Well just a hair or two. Dogsup tasted great with

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  • Hamsterup, a refreshing beverage made from lemons, limes and hamsters. John Cage enjoyed a good turtle sandwich slathered with dogsup and a frosty glass of Hamsterup as he wrote

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  • an epic story of longing and hope

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3 Comments

  1. LordVacuity Sep 08 2017 @ 14:54

    I was watching disjointed the Other day on Netflix and Ruth and Tae Kwon Doug had a rare common laugh over the new store in the strip mall that was all about Mustard. In a later episode Doug brings up their derisive laughter about the mustard Shoppe as a token of their new understanding. Both times I took it personally because I saw it as an indictment of my idea for the Mustard Hut. Actually, Ruth made an earlier joke on a previous episode asking, "who wants to buy a pizza from a hut", which I remembered when they dissed the mustard Shoppe, because I, of course, assumed they were talking about my Mustard Hut. I am just saying.

  2. SlimWhitman Sep 08 2017 @ 17:47

    Okay, interesting idea, but what became of Bruce, the Plus sized model?

  3. LordVacuity Sep 09 2017 @ 03:28

    Oh Bruce is doing fine. She took all the mustard she garnered and invested it in mountain moving operations to make an amusement park devoted to all the plus sized models. It was called Upton Downs.

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