I palpitated it with my fingers. "What is

or agitated. As it got firmer I could sense increased blood flow. I pinched the surface to assess the distribution of adipose underneath. The subject became

anxious. End of study number 69 regarding human body functions. As I walked through the halls of what the test subjects call my "UFO", the humans were making awful chirping noises

and picking bugs from their feathers with their beaks. "Ugh," I groaned, "these humans are vulgar creatures. And so narcissistic, all that colorful plumage!" Noz replied, "I don't

ever want to see one again." I couldn't agree more, but the decision was no longer ours alone. Little did we know there was

A box of these things on our doorstep, waiting to be opened before the global economic collapse. We opened it first thing and found a lot of surprises. Who sent this, we didn't kno

w. Was that supposed to go with this? Or was it intended as a substitute for something else?Why were there so many items & no explanation? We waited for the global economic collaps

-e to bring about more menu choices, but finally just decided to order the fettuccini Alphonzo. It arrived on a hub cap and had little plastic army men stationed all over it. We

really cried when we noticed the dumpster sauce bowl had three human infants in it. I looked around at the high school, shrugged and called it another typical prom night. Just in c

ase any teachers came along, I set fire to those dumpster babies, put on my sunglasses, and slow-motion walked into the night, never to return.