24

I held fast to my baby blanket as I tried

  • I held fast to my baby blanket as I tried to sleep. I knew the dreams would come and I'd be swept away into the power of them. I cannot resist the enticement they bring.

    3
  • I could never quite comprehend what the man in the dream wanted, all I know is that he seemed to love my supple buns. it was scary, but i learned to accept my fate as his sheath.

    2
  • I awoke from the dream with a smile on my face. As I rose from my bed I saw the man from the dream standing in my room. He reached into his trousers and pulled out an eenormous

    1
  • key. The key was a special key that only opened one particular treasure chest. This chest was located in Wiesbaden, Germany. I decided I would take the key to Wiesbaden. I

    3
  • opened the treasure chest in Wiesbaden Germany and found a treasure trove of beer, sausages and liederhosen. I was not surprised.

    3
  • I was just disappointed. I donned a stiff pair of lederhosen & gripping a curry wurst in one hand and a stein in the other, stepped out onto the stage of Wiesbaden's Got Talent

    3
  • and began to yodel all of Heino's greatest hits. Despite my tin ear (or because of it), the judges were moved to tears and decided to crown me the King of Krauts. But I had gas

    2
  • from eating all those Frikadelles, and the moment my bottom started trumpeting up, the disgusted judges redacted my coronation. I guess Germans weren't fond of flatulent 'kings'.

    3
  • Ludwig X was one of the most flatulent German kings. He was known to fart when other royals visited. He ate too much garlic and onion seasoning. His wife loved garlic and onions.

    2
  • When Ludwig married Hildegunde, he placed an onion ring on her ample ring finger & the priest Luther said Nun rülpset und furzet und machet es wohl in Eure Gemächer", and they did.

    2

2 Comments

  1. Woab Nov 26 2016 @ 11:56

    Babelfish: "Now catechism and ironic and probably make it in your Chambers." Google Translate; "Now bite and furcate, and make it into your chambers"

  2. SlimWhitman Nov 26 2016 @ 16:47

    "So burpeth and farteth and maketh yourselves confortable in your stately chambers." Loosely based on the quote ascribed to Luther: "Why dost thou not farteth nor burpeth? Was the meal not to your liking?"

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!