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Claire sat in class, hoping, wondering, a

  • Claire sat in class, hoping, wondering, a possibility lurking in her mind people would join in on her story. She sighed as she pulled out a gun and held it in the air.

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  • She then said HAI and everyone said HAI back.

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  • Luckily, even though nobody had noticed, Tommy Wiseau (writer and director of the cult classic "The Room") was there also, just in time to say O HAI to everyone, including

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  • to Bruce Willis, who said "Yippie Kye Yay, Motherfucker" and killed him. Bruce Willis then disappeared and went to Uncle Uzbekistan, where he joined force with Borat and killed

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  • comedy. Now, when comedy died, Sasha Baren Cohen was trapped in his Borat persona. He couldn't change back. After a week of not eating, he realized he needed to get a job.

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  • So he called up the local Price Rite and asked if they were hiring. They were. He got a job there and began his new life as a cashier, making money while handling it as well. But

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  • before long, the lure of the stage was too much. He watched Tootsie for the 27th time in a week and plotted his next transvestigal steps.

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  • He ended up in the hospital. Forever, he ate cold turkey and M&Ms to break his addiction.

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