Lately I've been stuck imagining what I want

the world for looking down on people who just want to express themselves! So what if I want to wear ass-less chaps, or pasties on my nipples in public! I knew deep down

there was no better way to draw attention to my political views.I printed slogans on the nipple pasties & my ass-less chaps gave a clear view of the tattoos on my cheeks which read

"Save the Welsh". I had inside information that some English chaps were planning an invasion of Wales on the morrow, though they said they didn't need saving: "We have a secret

sheep" That's all they said. I wasn't sure what a secret sheep was, but i decided not to ask. "The English won't know what hit them, ha!" And as he said this, the Welshman started

up a hill and came down a mountain. He passed by an English man who was eating fistfulls of wooly

mammoth, a rare delicacy in England. He stopped to watch the man shove raw mammoth meat into his mouth. “You want some ketchup with that?” he asked. The man opened his mouth and

stuffed in an entire duck-billed playtypus, never breaking eye contact with the ketchup offerer. I was impressed and whipped out my camera phone. Just as I hit 'record'

my friend, who couldn't help but talk with his hands flailing, knocked the phone out of my hands. It went sailing across the table, bounced off the ketchup bottle, hit the

cat, who launched out the window and attacked a crane operator. The wrecking ball then swung, taking out buildings domino-style. When the smoke cleared, I handed him a broom.