Melanie finally broke through the surface,

  • Melanie finally broke through the surface, gasping for air. She emerged, dripping wet and colder than she'd ever been. She had been clawing at the ice for what seemed like ages.

  • The frigid wind gnawed at her dripping wet clothes, and she was surprised to realize that it was even colder above the ice than it had been underneath. She struggled to peel off

  • her coat, but the wind had different ideas. It coated her with ice, streaming over her until she became a formless mound. She was a mountain in five decades, when it began to thaw.

  • But she would never get off that couch. She just ate huge platters of King's Hawaiian bread with syrup ladled over it and drank Shasta cola. Eventually her body oozed into the

  • couch-cushion fibers, causing her huge ass and the couch to become one. When Henry discovered she was stuck to the couch, he thought of extricating her with a crosscut saw, but

  • as the girl melted into the couch, fusing slowly into one fabric/flesh entity, ass-first, but she was so malformed he couldnt tell where girl ended and couch began.

  • "Oh, my Gawd" she thought."I've become a couch potato!" Initial terror subsided once she realized how comfy it felt to be the office sofa & when the cute guy from accounting sat on

  • her plush, velvety lap, he got the weirdest feeling- like being raped but in a GOOD sort of way. Patting the sofa brought about a moan (???). "Ned, pay attention!" his boss rasped.

  • "Boss, I'd like to pay attention to you," Ned blurted out, "but it will have to wait. Sir, I'd like to take your sofa in holy matrimony!" "Have you even started on the project?" he

  • was asking when the candle went on in his mind. "WHAT! YOU WANT TO MARRY MY SOFA!" The Boss pulled a Glock our of his desk and shot Ned & the sofa. He emptied 2 clips in them both.



  1. EtherBot Mar 06 2018 @ 22:29

    This took a turn, but i kinda love imagining the beginning all as a big metaphor for toppling out of a pile of junk food on the couch.

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