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Hooded figures stood in a circle, their voices

  • Hooded figures stood in a circle, their voices unified in ancient song. But for a ring of candles burning on the floor before a high altar, the room was black as night. Darkness ..

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  • They intoned... "Happy Birthday to Youuuuu. Happy Birthday..." Acrid smoke emerged from the pentagram. The priestess arose "Come blow out the candles and make a wish."

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  • "I wish I could wear a white robe just once" I said. The others gasped and stopped chanting as the priestess strode toward me. Backing away, I tripped over the pentagram candles

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  • and burnt offerings. I hadn't meant for them to hear, but I 'was' tired of wearing black. What they couldn't see wouldn't hurt them, which is why I was glad they didn't see my red

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  • rubber nose or my rainbow wig. The giant bicycle-horn shoes were difficult to conceal, too. I would have to come up with another plan if I wanted to sneak into the

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  • White House state dinner, although the room was already full of clowns. My Queen Elizabeth costume might work better. Quickly, I donned the blue lace dress, curly grey wig & crown.

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  • Little did I know that intrigue was afoot. On my way out from the bathroom I bumped into a woman wearing a similar dress. Not ten seconds later, I heard a gunshot and turned to see

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  • What I can only describe as a burnt human matchstick. Blood gushed from her charred neck cavity and her once lively corpse plopped to the floor of the JCPenny. "Yikes", I said and

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  • kicked her charred neck into the kitchen department. I knew this JCPenny was evil. That's why I brought a bolo.

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  • Escape attempts were futile. The sales assistants jumped out from behind every display case armed with perfume sprays and gift wrapping. Horrifyingly I never left JCPenny.

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