My psychiatrist told me that my friend Simon

Oh stop it. I'm here for cryin' out loud! I'm always here, ya damn fool! Now quit yur yappin and hand me that axe! Yes, SIMON SAYS. Bzzzzt. "OMG! I AM schizo!" Ernie cried.

Axe in hand, Ernie gave the Simon Says machine forty whacks. "I mean, I am schizo, but I feel that it shouldn't prevent me from living a long, happy life! NOW DIE!" he shrieked.

After being whacked against the Simon Says Machine forty times the poor blunt axe went home Mrs Axe and their child Hatchet. Hatchet was too young to understand such violence

Hachiko the Hatchet married Waboose the Tomahawk, & when their children made up a complete kitchen knife set Hachiko confronted her violent childhood. She was sharpening

her son the steak knife when her husband Hachiko the Hatchet said, "I think you've been edgy all week." Waboose the Tomahawk hated her husband's sharp comments, they always

Dreaded it when Mack The Knife was home next door. He brown-nosed them for everything. They always said no and took out their pistols. He got the message, fast!

But now Mack, he spends just like a sailor. Can it be our boy has got a rash? You bet he does, and that's why his nose is brown. It'll take a fortune in Rash-O brand rash cream to

make him ever forget that it is was Perth that he first learned that Humpty Dumpty was pushed. Up until that moment he had believed the Party line that Humpty had simply fell. Mack

was devastated to finally learn the truth and to learn that it could have been one of a dozen people who pushed Humpty Dumpty to his death. Maybe one of the Kings Men!