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To get me back, Ole Scratch sent me a plague

  • To get me back, Ole Scratch sent me a plague of chickens, who stealthily laid their eggs of evil within my home. Nothing to do but continue the grim egg hunt. If one ever hatched

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  • the hatchling would certainly bond to me as its mother, and I might never be rid of the demonic poultry. No, I had to find the eggs. My flashlight beam desperately

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  • scanned left and right in the darkness. The only sound was the slight rushing of water. It smelled of mint and ham. The odor made me gag, retch, and finally vomit up my dinner of

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  • fermented fish stew with corn dumplings. They chained me down in the dark dungeon so my spew bounced back in my face causing a spew feedback loop that lasted for 8

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  • teen years. In the 19th year they said I was ready. I'd finally passed the training necessary to be an Arby's food taster. The newest proposed menu item was a triple beef

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  • -stuffed tater tot with rubber duck sauce. "I thought I was a FOOD taster," I quipped to the Arby's manager as I circled a 1/5 for flavor and presentation. Next item: Diet Tots.

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  • Diet Tots were sure to be a huge hit. The Arby's manager watched as I eagerly took a handful and stuffed them into my mouth. The Tots began to swell before I could finish chewing

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  • , and soon I realized why they were called, "Arby's Magic Diet Tots of Illusion". They only looked small until consumption! I had stuffed them into my mouth so fast that I

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  • had no time to swallow. It expanded causing my cheeks to balloon outward like a chip monks. I had to utter the phrase "How many wood chips would a chip monk chip if there was noone

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  • around to make sure he didn't hire a illegal to do it for half the running labor rate?" Punchy Bunny started tapping her toe. I took a deep breath and choked. She won again.

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