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"Burned it again! Ughhh. Another twice dead

  • "Burned it again! Ughhh. Another twice dead cow and nothing to eat." This was

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  • the norm when McDonald's cooks brought their culinary training home with them. "I microwaved Bessie and nothing happened besides death, reincarnation, and more death," I lamented

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  • ever having seen the infomercial. Cuisine takes more than 30 minutes and several thousand dollars. Charred Bessie was good for nothing but fertilizer now, so I crumbled her burnt

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  • remains into a stock pot adding an onion. She made delicious soup, but after 2 bowls, the ghost of Charred Betty entered my right ear. She whispered terrible curses day & night.

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  • It was maddening! I tried to ignore Charred Betty's whisperings, but I found myself arguing out loud with her instead. 'Course, no one else could see or hear her. It was only after

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  • other people smelled creosote that I knew Charred Betty was real. She kept whispering over and over, "Burn, baby, burn, burn, burn." I pleaded until I found matches in my hand.

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  • They were a pair of aces. Now I had a full house. Charred Betty kept yammering, but I was hot tonight. I went all in. I said, "Let's go suckers, I'm betting the farm!" The tiny Asi

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  • cs salesman was a real ace if you know what I mean. "Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Say no more!" Betty screamed in rage after losing at the poker table

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  • all her savings. She was pretty much broke bankrupt now. But she needed a quick way to get some more money. She thought about this while enjoying a glass of red wine. And then

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  • she chugged it. Who was she kidding? Her life was a lie. Deep Inside she was a crack whore with a crazy philosophy, and she would share it with the world, one trick at a time.

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