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As the Dirk ran his fingers through over

  • As the Dirk ran his fingers through over his gun he couldn't help but remember what that funeral director had said to him the other day. "Don't forget to wash your hands, and for

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  • the love of god, don't tea-bag him. I know it's fun but you're a giant knife and people are going to know it was you if he has a Glasgow smile." The Dirk was disappointed.

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  • After his performance in the NBA finals, Dirk figured he had earned the nickname "dagger," so "knife" sent him into a killing frenzy. We followed the trail of dead bodies to

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  • the 3 point zone and found there that they were stacked high. This made it particularly easy to climb the pile and dunk even for me, I was only 4ft 6in tall. I was on top of the

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  • cubicle wall, jumping off and dunking on the Nerf basket like my name was Shaq, and that's when Lenny the

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  • dim-witted accountant from down the hall sealed his fate. He challenged me in front of Shelly, who I'd been trying to nail for weeks. I grabbed the ball and charged at Lenny

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  • & screamed "DIFFERENTIATE THIS, GIRL-STEALING FATTY!" Lenny's face had an imprint of my dodgeball. He cried. "I don't care about your girlfriend, you filed the expenditures wrong!"

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  • Ever since passing a mail order course in accounting Lenny had become insufferably arrogant about his arithmetic skills. His fat pudgy hands could hardly work an abacus, but Evelyn

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  • using her mint-green 2-inch long nails was a whiz on the adding machine. Together, Eve and Lenny became the dynamic duo of the forensic accounting set. Mitt was worried. Off-shore,

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  • the accounts ever received the steady trickle of dirty money. Eve & Lenny were efficient; Mitt would never be able to stop them from draining his life & bank account of all worth.

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