Ad hominem grits can be quite tasty.

They go especially well with a side of litotes tots, crunchy and creamy side by side. Breakfast at the Rhetoric Cafe was always an experience George treasured. Tuesdays were his

days off so he could just relax. While he was sitting at Rhetoric Cafe eating his food he saw a nice lady who walked in, she was attractive and no ring on her finger, he thought

that means she must be psycho, which meant she would be good in bed but a real pain in the ass. He tried to calculate how long he'd have to pretend to listen to her before

she would notice he was wearing Beats™ by Dr. Dre™ sound canceling headphones for the past 7 years of dating. Yes, we are speaking of Dr. Dre here, how else would he have them? So

she plugged his headphone jack into the blender (all technology's compatible these days) and promptly unscrewed her boyfriend's head."Whoawhoawhoa!" His head rattled to the floor.

"Now how did that happen", she thought. I guess I better find another boyfriend--one that's not so sensitive!

She went to the Dex, "Bayonets, Batons, Bouillon, Ahh! Boyfriends!" She picked up the phone and dialed. "Yeah, gimme a tough biker guy with a heart of gold sent to this number."

The guy rang the bell 40 minutes later & fit the bill to a T. Grizzly Adams with forearm tattoos & a ring in his nose. He helped her onto his Harley & they rode to her Ex's Wedding

, sat on the bride's side of the church, dirty danced at the reception and left early to slash her Ex's tires (a sign of things to come, but he didn't know and she wasn't telling).