The only way that stunt could have been more

  • The only way that stunt could have been more awesome is if, when he passed over it, the bike-ramp had exploded into the entire contestant line-up from the 2010 Miss Universe.

  • (Except of course for Bat-el Jobi from Israel and Jitka Valkova from the Czech Republic because they're super sexy.) In fact, after he won the bike competition he got on a plane to

  • start the engine. He took a swig of Powerade and began pedaling. The propeller kicked in and taxied to the edge of the runway. With a burst of adrenaline, the plane took off.

  • Because the plane was alive. It had glands that secreted hormones like adrenaline. It flew and the passengers didn't know it but they were sitting inside the biggest

  • asshole of a plane ever constructed. "So, you think y'all are flying to Philly," said the plane. "Well I have different plans. And in the meantime, here's some turbulence."

  • The plane did a few sudden vertical drops and the stewardess (can one still say that?) ended up in my lap. "I am a plane psychologist!", I said. "Lead me to the cockpit"

  • She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the cockpit door. I braced myself as she wrenched it open. What met my eyes was the most tear enducing sight I have every laid eyes on.

  • The two pilots lay side by side, arms around each other's shoulders, their faces covered in blood but nonetheless they seemed to be smiling. My eyes started to fill up, but she gav

  • me a glance that said 'we must be getting back.' The temperature was expected to drop below freezing. We left the plane wreckage carrying food, a few bottles of water and

  • of course, as many Magic the Gathering cards as we could possibly stuff in our trousers. This journey was to be a long one, and a bit of magic would suffice in giving us hope.



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