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Do you miss the good old days? Do you wish

  • Do you miss the good old days? Do you wish you could have it all back? Well, now you can! Just follow these nine easy steps:

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  • Step 1 - Get a pen and paper so you can write down the next eight steps, they are of utmost importance. I'll wait... ...Hey! You can't go back in time with a space pen! You'll ruin

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  • my massive erection. STEP 2: Write down how you feed your dog peanut butter. STEP 3:

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  • Teach dog transcendental meditation. STEP 4: Dog transcends cheap humor and turns on you. STEP 5: Dog gives you hug refusing to hold grudges.

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  • STEP 6: Hypnotize dog to believe all crotches smell like Deep Dish Sausage Pizza. STEP 7: Fix saliva so they can eat poop. STEP 8: Create urge in dog to lick human lips. STEP

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  • 9: Film the lunatic fringe poster boy going around the country as a bounty hunter. STEP 10: Reap insane profits. STEP 11: Repeat step 10. STEP 12: Having had a spiritual awakening,

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  • as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other Folding Story addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. STEP 13: Go back to STEP 1 if

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  • you've reached STEP 13, as this is only a 12-STEP Program. If you are successful in adhering to all 12 Steps for a period of one year (or 10,000 folds, whichever comes first),

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  • You will receive a free tray of meat from a gourmet butcher. If you fail the program, you will forfeit your home, car, significant other, contents of your bank accounts and

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  • most important your self respect. Always remember, you are doing something for the environment, world hunger, and personal integrity by participating in eat YOURSELF slim.

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