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"Psst, Hey bud." "WHO ME?" "Shhh..." who

  • "Psst, Hey bud." "WHO ME?" "Shhh..." who me?" "Riiight. How would you like to buy an O for just a buck?" "A BUCK!" "Shh.." "a buck?" "Riiight" "SAY AREN'T YOU PAT SAJACK?" "Shhh...

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  • "It's an honor to meet you Mr. Sajack. I love your show!" "Thanks...so what do you say?" "Wow, a vowel for a buck - that's QUITE a DEAL!" "Shh." "Wait a sec. What's the catch?"

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  • Wheel of Ghettortune was a big hit on the BEC for its accurate depiction of opprobrious urban life. I could have a vowel for two handjobs and a line of coke, or two vowels for a

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  • vowel in the hand is worth two in the bush. The studio lights went dim. Pat Sajak said, "Now you will refer to me as P Jak!" Vanna White turned on her mixer and turntables.

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  • "Yes Pat, uh, I mean P-Jak". Mr Sajak smiled to hear his new moniker and got down to the sound of DJ Vanna White. Unfortunately for him

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  • Vanna's decades of letter-turning had rendered her once immaculate scratches and beat drops but a shadow of their old potential, and Sajak was forced to launch into beatboxing the

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  • way his grandmother had taught him. "Meemaw," Sajak used to ask, looking up at the taxidermied corpse propped up by the fireplace. "Why don't you hug me anymore?" Meemaw never

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  • hugged nobody nomores, unfortunately for him. So, he went on his happy little way, traveling down the road, collecting old amstel beer bottle caps and hermit crab shells to make

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  • key chains that he could sell for a few shillings on Etsy. One thing he had learned from all this was that, things could change. He could start over and forgive himself. If only

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  • ... He stared at himself in the cracked bathroom mirror. There, beyond the dark shadows, the bruises, the scraggly beard, he saw...hope. "I shall overcome!" He shouted.

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1 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Aug 08 2015 @ 17:49

    A Sesame Street upbringing stays with you... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml6Yqu-spnM

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