SHirley had spent the past ten years petitioning Cadillac to bring back the Landau roof. She met Ernie, at a vinyl rally in Detroit. She loved his commitment, he loved her boobies.

They stepped off the train only to stand in wonder. It had been a long time in the making to get to where they were today. Little fingers enclosed his large ones and

Once upon a time...isn't it cute?Has anyone tried that before?No,but seriously:there was a princess,a witch,a black man and a yellow lab...GO NUTS!

Disco balls are really the ultimate accessory. They are so versatile and really do snazz up any outfit. Too bad my boss seems to think they are a perfect substitute for a nice set

"Don't scream!" He shouted as he pressed the gun up to her head. "It hurts you more than it hurts me." He laid on top of her and proceeded with his dirty deed. She continued to cry

My dream home has a large central library with comfy couches and overstuffed chairs.

I told the pet shop owner, I was looking for something different. He showed me a terrarium with two mounds at either end. "They're war ants, quite amusing but never let them out."

When he said on their first date that he'd possess her heart she thought it was kinda cute in an overconfident kind of way. Now that he was standing over her with a meat cleaver

As i sat on the toilet pushing for dear life, the thought occurred to me that I might never go. the pressure could be too much for my bowels! "I can't die, not like this, not now!"

Peter sat down in confessional. "In my day," he thought to himself, "it took a Roman with a sword to make anybody confess." He tried peering through the wooden screen, but the

"Star Command, this is Cadet Dykeson. Supplies are depleted. Morale is low. Please respond." Unfortunately due to harsh interference from the ringed moons, dispatch heard:

The following line is not intented as a factual statement.

A horrible buzzing noise punctuated the morning routine of ripping through the flesh of her latest kill. A mosquito had caught the scent. The female Tyrannosaurus slowly rose and

The Emporer of the World looked at his day planner. "Item one, beatification of Pope John Paul the II, check. item two, croquet with the royals at undisclosed location, check. Next

I know I'm just a robot, a metal man. But I love you. I love you more than your parents ever will. Could you please

Spring was unusually cold. Greta's plans for the yard were delayed while waiting for the snow, frost and downpours to move away. She drew, sketched and bought all the acutrements a

Eran las 8:30 de una mañana cualquiera. Estábamos en clase y la tranquilidad de la noche había terminado. Los niños gritaban, se empujaban y maldecían su suerte.

He showed up to the marriage counselor's office three hours early. He handed her 10K cash and said, "When my wife and I come in later, remember she is WRONG," and he winked

Mr. Toad jumped into the prius and

Through the rotting jungle, we happened upon an old French plantation. They invited us in and offered the last of the vintage wine. "We have been here for years," the owner said.