Everyone said, "No!" but he marched into the recording studio. Production came to a halt. That bastard took off his headphones and said, "What's up?" Then Ted Nugent raised a bow

“Base to Captain Gromit, Base to Captain Gromit. Come in Captain Gromit.” “Captain Gromit. Come in Captain Gromit. Where are you?” “Captain Gromit. This is an urgent message!"

I couldn't sleep after going clubbing so I watched Baptazia videos on YouTube until my face hurt from laughing. One day I hoped to star in a YouTube video. My fame would be eternal

Hooded figures stood in a circle, their voices unified in ancient song. But for a ring of candles burning on the floor before a high altar, the room was black as night. Darkness ..

In his youth, Chuck said "an hr ironing is a wasted hr", a life long bachelor, he discovered the Zen of Ironing in old age. "No 2 folds are alike. The Hindu Kush in my monday shirt

We were curled under the streetlight, its gentle glow eclipsing the moon. Snow drifted down past us, the green and blue lights on the street providing it with a quiet glow. We were

The unfortunate child was born with a rare form of spina bifida, so rare that it had no name. The doctors mockingly called it anal bifida. Hugh Chauncey Pinkingford III had no

A Flee and a Fly in a flue? Just what I supposed to do with a Flee and a Fly in a flue. But then suddenly I knew just what I could do with a Flee and a Fly in a flue. Do You?

True happiness is the long hard lick of a strawberry ice cream.

I was a big fan of Star Wars as a kid. I guess that's why I wore the Vader mask when I robbed the 7-eleven. When they showed me on the evening news I couldn't help but feel pride

It was a dark and stormy night when Trumpet, the head rooster on the Shadow Ranch noticed something skulking in the shadows near the hen house.

On the sunny beaches of the Caribbean, a massive amount of carps started to splash from the water and on to the many fishing boats. They were swimming away in fear of the

Charlie Brown ran as zombie Snoopy chased after him. Everyone he knew was a zombie. Eventually he was cornered by zombie Rerun who

As Jeff bundled up to go out in the snow, he reflected on what was taking him out there. He'd always been opposed to abortions, and now he was going to have to perform one.

The funny thing was, he knew. It was only afterward that I learned this, and yet he was able to keep quiet all this time. I should have expected this, seeing as he has a history of

"Don't you know who you are talking too?" I said to myself in the mirror. I suddenly realized I didn't. I suffered from narcissistic amnesia. I knew I was somebody, but who?

They all cheat at cards and the checkers are lost. My cellmate's a killer and they make me do push-ups in drag, but nobody cares if you're losing yourself.

Laying on his deathbed, the frail body and title of Hansewurst Freiherr von Pimmel, belied the potency of his younger days. He'd cuckolded Monarchs as life's goal & lived to tell

The three weird brothers gathered at the first tee. Jasper, as was his wont, picked up the golfball with his mind and gave it a good toss. Brougham

The plague was spreading and now the New York city has fallen to the zombies and the zombie assault force were disbanded thanks to the swarms of zombies an Alex is a soldier that