Benita's eyes stopped. "I like my women looks I like my salsa: THICK and CHUNKY" the personal ad read. That's how the whole thing started. They met at Aunt Chilada' s Easy Cafe on

'What do you call an intelligent, good-looking, sensitive man?' he asked. 'A rumor' she said with a smirk. Nathan didn't find it funny though. In fact he was annoyed at the remark.

"Supreme Being" read the black T-shirt stretched over his belly. He wore thick-rimmed black glasses and gesticulated wildly with a piece of overcooked steak on the end of his fork

So I was walking out of school one day and I tripped down the stairs. It was probably the most embarrasing thing I've ever done. As I was lifting myself up off the ground

To his great surprise, Alan found himself fading away. After a few beers he had often wondered what lay beyond the grave, now he was going to find out. He closed his eyes and

Two interviews down, 423 to go. Starting a company as a multi-trilionaire was much easier than the scrappy mess he started in his garage 23 years ago. This time, he vowed,

I returned home, that cold October day. I couldn't tell you where I'd been, or what I'd done. Or even what I'd seen. Not because I couldn't remember, but because I

77 conjoined fighting fish, each a master in their own fish martial art, circled each other warily as the Colosseum slowly filled with water.

"Teines! Teines Pomme!" The orange said with glee. "why the heck are you speaking French, orange?" "Couteau!" He responded. "I have no idea what... AHHHHHHHHH" he screamed as the

Attention neighbors, the police have been notified of your toddlers parading unattended down the sidewalk in their motorized cars. Our homeowners association will not tolerate

She'd needed the movers, she'd paid them, now they were gone. Tess examined each site again, where the movers'd placed each item, adjusting as needed, examining the scant damage.

Maximus Gladitorious Bonzo fled the scene of the battle with a fish on his sword and

In the darkness of the night, I saw a blinkering shiny eyes. It is as if someone is there watching me.

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今天天气还可以，下午要去学校，把下学期要用的讲义整理一下，跟一个学生家教，希望教室里不要太热。放暑假的时候，学校有音乐营，常听到不同的乐曲演奏，跟平常的气氛很不一样，满有意思的。

Coffee... Mmmmm.... Coffeecoffeecoffeee.... COFFEE! (Where are the beans? Where is my stash? Wherewherewhe...) NO COFFEE! (Quick breath relax, car-keys-door-car-store) MORE COFFEE!

The Mayor of San Francisco is threatening to veto pro-frog legislation! Your help needed ASAP! Please CALL Mayor Ed Lee's office at (415) 554-6141 right now and say:

I dont have the facts to back this up, but I believe that cheetos are magical elf droppings. I also believe that

The Tuesday that the Anything boxes arrived for everyone was the day that civilization, as we know it, ended. By Thursday,

now wait for the aftertaste. Didn't I tell you? Isn't the greatest cheese you ever tasted? Just try on this wheat-thingy. Am I right? I didn't even know hippos could be milked.