Now that I'm filthy rich, I will donate 0.1% of my money, and morons will praise me for it. 30 million $ * 0.1% = 30 000$. Scale this to average savings: 10 000$ * 0.1% = 10$.

As a thick, depressing, fog suffocates a wooded valley, the rain and sleet beat down upon a desolate path.

On my way to the local asshattery to pick my ass up a new hat I stopped in the cupcakerie for a red velvet and a cup. A retired haberdasher took note of my chapeau and quipped

Car airbags kill 1 person for every 22 lives that they save.

"Do you like to dancy-dance? Yes, I wore my party-pants!" I woke with a start as "German-Sparkle Party" music replayed over and over in my head. I'm going to kill her for showing

Her thoughts were returned of her positive vibrations, from October 2016. As of right now, her Mother's stupid influence was there, soon to be gone. It would go away soon!

He also flushed the the dismembered parts of his victims down the toilet.

My coworkers dont like me playing the nannerpus commercial on youtube. I dont see the issue, I mean, it's NANNERPUS! It's a dancing banana on a bunch of pancakes, whats not 2 love?

Even under the artificial light of the bookstore her angelic glow radiated. I had to force myself not to stare at her as she repeatedly pulled books down from the shelf, carefully

Once upon a time

The guy kept following me, I'd been walking for over 10 minutes and noticed the same guy behind me. As soon as people weren't around he walked faster and got closer to me.

One dark night, I took a walk to the grocery store.

Natures beauty is so powerful. I wept at the sight of the magnificent ancient rocky gorge. The crystal clear rock pools looked so inviting for swimming. It was a lovely warm day

In the wan light of morning, thunder rose behind me. A few golden leaves drifted at my side, the side of my dagger hand. My hands were empty; my conscience clear. The False Emperor

Adam are a student who want to write a story.

I submitted my paperwork to the Department of Major Fuck-ups who then mistakenly forwarded part of my application to the Dept. of Incompetence where some geriatrics sent it to

Tired of that awkward silence and the mindlessness of it all, I decided to leave the room. Bad decision though: as I stepped outside all went dark and I couldn't see any longer.

I suppose you'd call me a modern day Lazarus.'Coitus terminus' the coroner noted on my death certificate. I was on the way to my funeral in my casket when the hearse driver crashed

it was time they didn't know it was time but it was time for the shadow giant was here.

Example story -- If left alone, 70% of birthmarks gradually fade away