The office was shocked when the vice president of pizza college gave her 3 weeks notice today. The statistician started to cry, because her awesomeness is 100% irreplaceable.

The classroom was buzzing with rowdy, sweaty children. I couldn't even hear myself think.

I've always been a bit of a klutz. Last week I stumbled in my stilettos and tore a hole in the fabric of reality. It was a blue hole & the edges shimmered like shoals of tiny fish

SnowWhite decided she needed to improve her sex life.The Prince wouldn't even hear once she brought up the dwarfs,so she tried a different approach:she asked Aurora for Carabosse'

Within the depths of the ocean on the sea board floor is where it sat. Guarded by skeletons once riddled with scabies and Black Plague, it is said to be the

"Did you hear the one..." and off he went telling me again for the third time the joke about the pastor who played sick on a Sunday and golfed his best game. Punch line, "and God

BANG!!! It all went to shit, they lost the batch of blue stuff.

Abruptly,the onomatopoeia rolled off his feral tongue and he kept mooing to the girl sitting on the steps to the brick town house,as she smiled most condescentingly.

Alone in a dark room,or so he thought;but he was not startled when he felt her touch.It was just like her to sneak in and grab his dick like that.He felt her scent,turned as she

Call me, Ishmael.

Okay, let me get this strait: I AM NOT A CRIMINAL! Just because right now I'm in handcuffs in a police car on my way to jail does not mean I'm a criminal. I didn't kill no one!

"Go on then - just f--k off!" shouted England. "Think you'll find someone better? Think the EU will put up with your continual sulking!" Scotland was livid. "Yes, the EU LOVES me

Lukewarm orange juice. Two burnt eggs, stale coffee, cold oatmeal. It was a perfectly ruined breakfast. That's why Pat ordered it. He wanted to have a miserable start for the week.

Shortly after Herman had pushed the button a hidious sound came out of the container. If this was not the end to the Garble people problem he had hand them over to the

Pasternak for Men 1.7 oz EDT

Ryan Dubberke was wiggling in his seat because he couldn't stand sitting still and not playing baseball for more than 10 minutes. He was a die hard baseball fan. He liked pink too!

It was a dark and storm night when a ship crash landed in the ocean. Carrying over 5000 people to Africa.

"You are sooo Back A&^wards every day. You always get up fully dressed, but by the time you hit the living room your clothes are off, and you sitting in front of

Descubrió que nada de lo que le pertenecía era suyo.

To whom it may concern STOP My name is Sam, I work at the telegraph factory STOP The telegraphs have become sentient STOP Send help STOP also Diet Coke STOP Just don't