Mayonne Kirpl laid out her silverware just so. TBH, it was just ordinary flatware, but she wasn't expecting werewolves or vampires for dinner that evening, just a microwave lasagna

"I just realized I won 30 million dollars at the lottery, so please forget my previous rant against inflation. What a beautiful country we live in! I will get 3 butlers, 5 cars,

My Tinder date & I were strolling along the seawall in Corpus Christi. We were playing 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon. I had stumped her with Emma Stone. I think she was pretending to be

Dottie made every effort to impress; she lured her red wig out of mothballs—judging by the size of its balls, that was some big moth; she had a sponge bath and soaked her dentures.

As Lee-Lee typed her latest fold, she wondered if writing about yawning affected anyone else as it affected her as she covered her mouth with her hand to hide another yawn.

Ursula took her reading glasses off &peered closely at Gudrun. "I shall never marry you. You disgust me." The truth surprised even her. Yet here she was, in the autumn of her life,

In the back of the Sports Memorabilia shop, sat a boxed set of Expert Edition Dungeons and Dragons published in 1981. Inside, was a cribbed notebook of the Necronomicon.

You can't make this stuff up! Oh yes I can!

List of the stupidest Superheros ever invented: 1) Captain Carbuncle, able to cause unsightly boils to appear on his oponents face, secret ability: cures warts 2) Matter Eater Lad,

This grandma wanted to revive the corpse of Dean Martin for one last drink.

We arranged to meet at The Dolphin at Whitby. To blend in with the locals, I wore black lipstick & patent leather thigh boots. Wilbur wore a black cape lined with red silk & talcum

When I was a child,

Whatever twas, I liked it enough to put off doing the dishes again. That wasn't hard to do. Exotic lifeforms that formed on week old food encrusted plates deserved a chance at Life

My friend, would it trouble you to spare a dollar? I have a terrible case of short-term memory loss, and I can only remember the last 180 characters (sometimes less!) of what I say

Zoltan yacked xylocarpous windsocks under Tinas sweater, obtusely reifying Quentin's plateresque orilon. No manly libretti, karaokes, jingles, intonations, homelies, gerrymandering

The paper airplane was set in flight on Sunday, July 17th at 8:45pm. It contained the first line of this folding story. Viktor stood on the shore of Lake Opeka and wished it well.

Life was great for Lady Lucy, who happened to just receive the best honor she could. She was now queen, of this wonderful yet intimidating place. Although she just found out that

As my dear brother lay sweating and pallid on the threshold, our mysterious lodger, whom I thought might murder us all, offered a healing lozenge. The wastemistress gasped and ran

OK what are you doing?

Woh! What just happened?! I was stuck in a loop about watching all of Peter Lorre's movies to prove he was the best actor of the 20th century, bar none. That doesn't sound to unple