It was one of those weeks when my arm had looked like it had been put in a food blender. As I was getting changed for P.E one of the mean slutty girls noticed my acts of self harm.

Lentils, the limitless legume

Ralph's parents watched their 20 year old son play with building blocks. Earlier he explained he was making a castle. Ralph's parents thought their son was a loser.

Would you rather produce earwax so quickly it falls out of your ears every minute OR have a constant "wet spot" in the crotch of your pants?

Once upon a time, a girl named Chris was walking down the road. However, the road was lava. Chris fell in the lava road and ended up in a coma. When Chris woke up, she smelt tacos.

Philomena Cunk, Chairman of Cunk Inc, strode into the boardroom. She had a brace of lawyers with her but they'd be useless in the brawl that would follow her announcement

After years of research and development, we have discovered the exact genes for the cold virus. We have applied for a patent and contacted companies for trademark naming rights.

Once upon a time there was a lonely girl named liz, she had

There was a man who made a device that could turn animals into anthros. He first used it on a

I wanted her to like me so much. Then she said, "You're cute." Alright. "The way the potato chip crumbs are lodge in your belly rolls." Damn.

The atmosphere within the confines of the orange skin was rib-cracking. My body ached as I tried to find my balance and sift the remnants of the night before out of the crevicesof

Here he comes now! The earth trembled with each step Bubba took as he approached the club. The bouncers moved respectfully away, while those who didn't know better stared at him.

I liked walking among the red maples. They were tall. And red. And they made me feel at peace with the world. But while I was meandering, the earth split in two and swallowed me wh

~Finish the song ~ ♫ Down by the riva! 45 years ago. Was a terrible murder. Of a little girl. Her captures had no sympathy. As they bond her to a stump. She yelled and wailed and

There are cities with voice and cities that are voiceless. I remember the red line he drew on the wall as he left his home. Or was it black? His mom was watching TV and hid dad was

Once upon a time, there was a circle named Juliet. She was very sad because she didn't have points like the other shapes like Gary triangle and Joshua square.

The wind whistled outside and the trees snapped under the weight of the frozen ice on the branches. The power was out, the roads were closed, and there was no food. What to do?

A burger contains a little piece of dozens of cows. It's like when olde-timey hostage-takers would send you a finger in the mail to assert their dominance, except I'm hungry and

If you can catch this fart and paint it green, I will grant you three wishes.

Once there was a water buffalo. He was a lonely water buffalo. He dreamed of meeting other water buffalo, but there were no other water buffalo in the land. And thus,