Dear God, It's me, Steve Jobs. It has been 14 years since I faked my death and frankly,

Once upon a time a very independent woman decided that it was time to get to know a man to share her life with.

Yo

It was beautiful. There were bows of all colors and sizes. Bows and sock monkeys roamed the land as free as could be. it was spectacular. It was also just a dream.

As I hopped across the creek, I noticed a strange metal hatch in the ground. I cautiously approached it, and

The crystal clear blue sky shinned bright against the silver and gold sparkling Pacific Ocean water

Good-bye, mission control. Thanks for trying.

Behold!

Capt. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Chekov and Lt. Green entered the glade where Pooh and Piglet were trying to restart their bloody chainsaws. Spock held out his tricorder towards them.

It wasn't what it could've been, but since we're being honest, it was the best we could do. They didn't give us enough notice, enough time, enough. You get what you pay for.

Little did Mr. Shrieking know, the volume on his T.V. Was set to max when the remote activated the spark to power a loud surprise.

A man was stranded on an island. With nothing but matches and rope. Out of no where a bear appears. The man runs. The bear catches him. Natives to the island attack the bear.

The mousies get eaten by the fishies when the moon turns turquise, thus meaning the surfing Ferrari will go on display in 2017 at burping park.

Here I am again following him on a sunday morning. As he goes down the street wind blows his long curly hair. He turns right on the White River Avenue and sees Bob, they enter....

My elderly mother was to be cared for by Nadine, the robot, for all needs. Chuck Berry played his song, "Nadine" as she walked in and introduced herself. Mum was suddenly awake.

for the stingee is severe. For at precisely 80.192836419421291 degrees a bee's stinger gets a POWER UP and upgrades to a spreader stinger, doing three times the normal damage.

"I have in my hand The Last Burrito." He paused for effect as he displayed it to the TEDx audience. "This, ladies and gentleman, is The Burrito of the Eschaton." They gasped and st

I stepped across the threshold of the decrepit house and into the open air. A cold hand grasped my wrist, and I turned around to see a pale face. "Don't leave me..."

I attacked and ripped open the poor thing. I stabbed it again and again. I was hungry and this was the law of the jungle. I bit into its soft pink flesh. Watermelon tasted good.

Not until she had arrived, did I realize I was wrong