It wasn't the endless meetings or the constant questions that made Harold snap. It wasn't the incompetence or the tedium or the lack of respect or the overpriced Funyuns.

She became so engrossed in writing about burnt food in her fold that she forgot about the actual food on the grill. What's that smell?

the capstone was not what it was suppose to be. Wrong name, wrong date, wrong place, and yet it seemed incredibly right. How could it be so wrong and so right? Unless

The two women laid in his bed waited for him to get back.The black,thin one kissing the red head's breasts softly on the niples.She moaned and looked up to him when he came in from

Carnival. The kettle corn was almost shouting out the smell from the port-o-poties. Almost. The man in the red shirt was carrying a giant clown head under his arm. I lit my smoke a

We'd arranged to meet at our usual place: under the diplodocus's tail at the museum. Tourists were sitting around surrounded by their possessions like refugees fleeing a war zone

"What evidence do you have that the Zombie Apocalypse hasn't already started."

When I couldn't stand no more of Aunt Polly's civilizin' english lessons I reckon'd an Adventure like Tom related with real Cowboys & Injuns were just what was needed so I lit out

If you've ever bitten into an unripe plum at the precise moment of climax, then you know

Beware my son, the Rainbow pirates. Looking like mostly harmless later day hippies who want to save the world, they've been known to enter armed vessels with shaming banners

I'm done typing folds that are "like" bait. You're too smart for that, you god(dess) you. Mmm I wanna paint a keyboard on you and show you all the shortcuts. Would you "like" that?

"Miss Wong,yoa velvet kitty iiiz possess by bad spiriiiiit. Hong Luong ken cure dat. See maiii poten tiga stick is shua fayaa ghost busting dong. Just need to shoo shoo dem ghost

Jody readied himself for sleep. A silent and still reprieve (he hoped) from the mad, arbitrary clutter of the world in which he was embedded. Ten silent decades later, Jody awoke t

I had a leftover chicken leg and some knockoff Sriracha sauce. He had ham and cheese with the crusts cut off, chips and apple juice. I said "Trade?"

"What on earth are you doing? Get up from there!" my mom hollered. I pressed my eye into the sidewalk crack. I could see things! People! An entire universe! They beckoned me...

And I was still,but I was under your spell, when I was told by Jesus all was well. So all must be well. Just give me time. Well you know your desires and mine. So wrap my flesh in

I love her scent. Her very presence is like a burst of undeniable feelings, bursting from my heart. I always try not to look into her eyes, I'm always afraid she does not like me

I took another sip of coffee and instantly regretted it. My pits were soaked through already. I needed food but there was none around. Okay. Just remember the three basic points.

In a thunderous explosion of light the Doctor reincarnated, taking on the form of his last incarnation. Before us stood a cross between Ethel Merman and Suchet's Hercule Poirot,

When the aggravations of chance trouble your soul do you turn to the masters of fate? Redouble your efforts in an attempt at control, or throw up your hands and say fuckit?