The duck walked down the road on the hot day and he found some crumbs and ate them. He drank some water & his belly swelled because it was pink lemonade, & it was magic. So he was

The travelling merchant stopped outside the castle gates, "Can I interest you in our Jolly Products? Perhaps Your Majesty would like to sample my newest 'Royal Phat Beats' BBQ sauc

"There will be many, with whom, to compare your failings , but none to compare your successes, because of this fact, it will be hard to determine which is which." Then I left Kinko

I decided my credo was to "Always pay it backwards." That means I steal the coffee from that guy behind me in line. And later, he will steal someone's happy meal, and so on...

The office was shocked when the vice president of pizza college gave her 3 weeks notice today. The statistician started to cry, because her awesomeness is 100% irreplaceable.

With a loud click, the door shut behind him. He was in a sterile white room. A voice droned, "Mars Sense Deprivation test: Subject A-4." The only thing in the room was a slinky.

..and so the decision young man, The Lady or The Tiger?" I adjusted my turban and regretted my situation. Now I know why the prince traded places with me. What does a pauper know?

"Good morning! How are you?" He vibrated with rage. "How in hell would that be any of your damn business?! I'm fed up with your intrusive questions. By the way, how are you?"

The fearless Tomgra has become timid and clings to

The Tale of the 5 AM Sandwich and the Perilous Pickle of Peter Piper when confronted by Envy. Or sometimes The Rape of the Starbuck's Woman.who also worked at Panda Express.

'Friggin things musta shrunk up again' she muttered as she yanked on the denim, and completed a perfect impression of an overfilled muffin cup, spilling out the sides. 'Do these

memoirs by me

This was the worst downpour in decades, yet the gale and thunder could not silence the creaking sound of the rope tucking Spencer's throat. The gang leader had finally been hanged.

Dr. Crotchieghrasper was proud of his gallstone collection. He had amassed an impressive collection of specimens displayed in the reception. Of them all the one that looked lik

I was having tea with the vicar yesterday. He picked up a knife. "Cake?" he said. "Or death?" I joked. The Rev. looked at me strangely. I looked at the knife in his hand and swallo

If I found a dog

Bob, a contestant on " Who wants to be a Millionaire", was on the last question. "What is the first letter of the alphabet?. Is it A) D , B) C, C) A or D) B." " To this Bob answer

"Self-examination is the mother of escapism." Jean-Paul took a long drag from his clove cigarillo and looked severely at Camille. In turn, she removed her heart-lensed sunglasses

He collected literature from alternate dimensions. He had just aquired Jorge Orwellington's "1985." and placed it beside June Aspen's "Pride and Perceptions." But what he really

You are illiterate. You can register most of the words but are unable to subvocalize what an author meant to say, assuming the author actually says anything at all, which